Pre-Marital Counseling

PRE-MARITAL COUNSELING

Sometimes a couple needs a little insurance that their marriage will be successful.

Reverend Peluso believes every couple should write an informal marriage contract of mutually agreed upon
expectations and obligations before their wedding. Afterall, it is easy to get married, but usually painful, costly
and complicated to separate and divorce. Besides a framework of fairness and trust, every couple needs to have
good communication skills. When some couples find it difficult to write a contract or need better skills in relating,
pre-marital counseling can help. Couples can learn strategies to resolve differences of opinion in mutually
respectful ways. In addition, they can learn to make decisions and set goals that reflect shared values and
priorities.

Reasons for pre-marital counseling:

Values, goals and priorities may not have been fully explored; as the marriage progresses, differences may begin
to appear and put a strain on the marriage.

Unresolved issues and arguments may continue to cover the same ground. Sometimes a resolution can be more
easily reached through the impartiality of counselor.

Individuals may not know how to listen in a way to truly hear the other. They may not know how to express
themselves in ways that are open, frank and non-judgmental. Poor communication skills, no matter how much
love is present, can lead to hurt, resentment, and general dysfunction in the relationship.

The couple may have had poor parental models and experienced dysfunctional family interactions.

The couple may lack insight or strategies for dealing with in-laws or extended family members or friends.

There may be questions about how to raise children when the parents are from two different cultures or religions.
Reverend Peluso believes differences make life richer and need not confuse children when presented properly.
Sometimes the couples need information about their own religion and culture or that of their mate’s. As an
interfaith minister, Rev. Peluso can serve as a resource for further education and exploration of faith and
spirituality.

How are sessions conducted? How many sessions are needed?

When a couple interviews to hire her as an officiant, Rev. Peluso will make a determination whether counseling is
advised. Most couples she accepts to marry will NOT need counseling. If pre-marital counseling is recommended,
the couple may meet with Rev. Peluso, or another counselor of their choice, once or several times, as needed.
Referrals to other pre-marital counselors or professionals may be made if appropriate or requested.

Before terminating counseling, couples should be able to write a marriage contract that outlines mutual
expectations and obligations and creates the ground rules of their marriage.

What are the costs?

Costs for counseling are on a sliding scale according to joint income, but typically between 50-95 dollars per
hour. These costs are generally less than conventional psychological counseling or therapy.

Does Rev. Peluso counsel couples who will be married by another officiant?

Yes, Rev. Peluso accepts couples for counseling who are being married by other officiants.

Does Rev. Peluso counsel couples after marriage?

Yes, marital counseling is available after the wedding, too.